Inside the Mind Behind the Mischief: Ann Walton on Writing “Screaming Teddy Bears”
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You Can Bet Something Weird Is About to Happen
Ann Walton has a unique perspective on life: if something absolutely ludicrous or dangerously chaotic is going to happen, she’s usually standing right in the middle of it. Her life is a 100% true collection of accidents, odd situations, and near-death experiences. This is her defiant guide to laughing through the sheer absurdity of it all.
About the author
Ann Walton is a longtime California Realtor who discovered that telling her absolutely ludicrous, 100% true life stories was far more entertaining than selling houses. A self-proclaimed “normal, plain ol’ person with one hell of a perspective” , Ann is the kind of woman who gets tackled by a SWAT team, chased by an ex-husband’s ex-wife off an overpass, and finds herself nearly drowning in Class Five river rapids
As a mother, she’s no different, raising her kids with a dark, pragmatic sense of humor. She learned to lie to her children about chocolate ice cream, cut the cord on their TV, and use the infamous “I’m throwing the toy out the window!” threat. When chaos erupts—and it always does—Ann is dedicated to finding the funny as an act of defiance and resilience. She currently resides in California with her seven animals, which includes one real pig.
Blogs
Why “Screaming Teddy Bears” Is the Funniest Memoir You’ll Read This Year
Some parenting memoirs set out to teach you something. Ann Walton’s Screaming Teddy Bears: True Tales of Motherhood, Mischief, and Mayhem sets out to make you laugh until you have to put the book down, and it succeeds spectacularly, lesson or no lesson. From the very first chapter, Walton makes it clear this isn’t going […]
Reviews
Walton approaches all the most difficult (and thrilling!) parts of life with a hilarious sense of humor:
Mistaken as a dangerous criminal? Read the fascinating story behind it!
Broken hip, needs a metal plate? Never mind the pain, wait until you hear the story of how it happened!!
The exciting adventure of a Purse Snatcher averted - what not to do when in this situation.
Ejected from a raft and thrown too far under water - how will she escape this one??
After all the adventures and in the hospital bed, is Walton thinking, ‘life isn’t fair’? Never! Instead she’s plotting how to ride her Harley again.
“Never Lean Too Far Over a Cliff and Other Life Lessons Learned the Hard & Hilarious Way” is a delightful book of truly hilarious adventures. Don’t miss it!!
What’s the next adventure with the wild and whacky Walton who lives with her lovely pet pig? No doubt she will, “find the funny in it”. May we all follow that guide.
With everything that’s becoming more concerning in the world today, it is of ever-increasing value to find something enjoyable with which to distract. ‘Never Lean To Far Over A Cliff’ is that something. It is an incredibly relatable series of true life farces that are just plain fun to read. The absurd characters and situations are so very easy to identify with, that one finds oneself relentlessly reading (and chuckling) on to see what happens next. The inevitable message of ‘looking at the humorous side of things’ is worthwhile of consideration. I look forward to reading future installments of observations of the human condition made funny.
This book was such a fun read! I could not put it down! I read it in two hours! The author has a wonderful knack for grabbing your attention and telling the stories in a lively and humorous manner! The stories were wild, unbelievable and 100% true; which made it even more exciting. Highly recommend!
At a time in our history when we could all benefit from a good laugh, sometimes a laugh out loud belly laugh, this book is just the fix.
It's a quick read recounting several absolutely incredible real life stories along with the author's personal commentary.
Her self narration and life philosophy are at the same time hysterical, honest and to me far more kind and understanding than I would be in similar challenges.
Treat yourself to a distraction, give this book as a birthday or hostess gift or gift for someone who just needs some cheering up.
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If you are looking for a light, enjoyable read, Never Lean Too Far Over a Cliff is it. I couldn’t put this book down, always wondering what Ann would get herself into next. And each adventure brought smiles, both for the crazy things that happened as well as Ann’s insight along the way. As much as this book is funny and enjoyable, there is an element of wisdom throughout. It was a wonderful book that I highly recommend to all.
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This was a book I could not put down, once I started! It was funny. I laughed out loud in each reading session. Of course, I related it to myself and felt that life lessons I have learned haven't been as painful as Ann's experiences. I know Ann, and it is amazing how she has persisted, learning lessons in a hard and hilarious way! She skillfully relates anecdotes humorously. I hope she writes more and I am looking forward to her next book!
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At a time in our history when we could all benefit from a good laugh, sometimes a laugh out loud belly laugh, this book is just the fix.
It's a quick read recounting several absolutely incredible real life stories along with the author's personal commentary.
Her self narration and life philosophy are at the same time hysterical, honest and to me far more kind and understanding than I would be in similar challenges.
Treat yourself to a distraction, give this book as a birthday or hostess gift or gift for someone who just needs some cheering up.
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This is a great little book. It’s full of wisdom, delivered in a hilarious way. You’ll laugh, you’ll love the oh-so-human author, and you’ll learn.
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I just finished reading Never Lean Too Far Over A Cliff by Ann Walton and I enjoyed her writing immensely. I would buy this book again in a second. From the first chapter to the last she had be gasping and laughing my tail off. The odd ball antics that this women has gotten into in her real life are hilarious. The way she writes really gets you involved in her story like you can picture her going through the events in real life. I really hope she writes another book because I will be first in line to buy it. I read a lot of books and can truly give Ann's book an A+++++. Do yourself a favor and read this book.
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This book has stayed with me because it’s changed my view on things. Now I have a more humorous outlook. It was so funny that I found myself laughing out loud as if I was listening to a comedian. Although the stories were true and even scary-the author has an amazing way of making everything genuinely funny and up lifting.
Definitely recommend this book if you want something very human, meaningful and funny.
The hardcopy is also very easy to read, and the layout is super nice and friendly.
Definitely recommend this book if you want something very human, meaningful and funny.
The hardcopy is also very easy to read, and the layout is super nice and friendly.
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5.0 out of 5 stars A Truly Fun and Enjoyable Read
Reviewed in the United States on March 14, 2026
If you are looking for a light, enjoyable read, Never Lean Too Far Over a Cliff is it. I couldn’t put this book down, always wondering what Ann would get herself into next. And each adventure brought smiles, both for the crazy things that happened as well as Ann’s insight along the way. As much as this book is funny and enjoyable, there is an element of wisdom throughout. It was a wonderful book that I highly recommend to all.
5.0 out of 5 stars Laugh and learn, you’ll love this book.
Reviewed in the United States on March 14, 2026
Format: Audiobook
This is a great little book. It’s full of wisdom, delivered in a hilarious way. You’ll laugh, you’ll love the oh-so-human author, and you’ll learn.
Reviewed in the United States on March 14, 2026
Format: Audiobook
This is a great little book. It’s full of wisdom, delivered in a hilarious way. You’ll laugh, you’ll love the oh-so-human author, and you’ll learn.
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Calls the book "hilarious" and praises your ability to turn unbelievable real-life disasters into entertaining stories with humor and perspective.
Calls the book "hilarious" and praises your ability to turn unbelievable real-life disasters into entertaining stories with humor and perspective.
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Describes the book as feeling like "sitting across from a wildly entertaining friend," highlighting your dark humor and resilience.
Describes the book as feeling like "sitting across from a wildly entertaining friend," highlighting your dark humor and resilience.
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Says the true stories blend misadventure, humor, and meaningful life lessons into an entertaining read.
Says the true stories blend misadventure, humor, and meaningful life lessons into an entertaining read.
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Calls it "absolutely hilarious," a quick read, and a wonderful pick-me-up.
Calls it "absolutely hilarious," a quick read, and a wonderful pick-me-up.
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I bought this book because the title made me laugh in the store and honestly I wasn’t expecting much more than a few chuckles on a plane ride. Boy was I wrong. The opening chapters about her getting hired to do police training roleplay are some of the funniest true stories I’ve read in years like I actually could not believe the negotiator called in a flash bomb because she wouldn’t stop cussing at him. The way she builds up the scene, all those SWAT guys standing there in full gear watching her scream “FUCK YOU” across a parking lot, it reads like a sitcom except its all real. I found myself re-reading paragraphs just to catch details I missed the first time from laughing so hard. My husband kept asking what was so funny so I ended up reading half the chapter out loud to him in the car. If youre the kind of person who likes dark, self deprecating humor thats still got heart underneath it, this ones for you.
I bought this book because the title made me laugh in the store and honestly I wasn’t expecting much more than a few chuckles on a plane ride. Boy was I wrong. The opening chapters about her getting hired to do police training roleplay are some of the funniest true stories I’ve read in years like I actually could not believe the negotiator called in a flash bomb because she wouldn’t stop cussing at him. The way she builds up the scene, all those SWAT guys standing there in full gear watching her scream “FUCK YOU” across a parking lot, it reads like a sitcom except its all real. I found myself re-reading paragraphs just to catch details I missed the first time from laughing so hard. My husband kept asking what was so funny so I ended up reading half the chapter out loud to him in the car. If youre the kind of person who likes dark, self deprecating humor thats still got heart underneath it, this ones for you.
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I’ll be upfront, I don’t usually read humor memoirs because they feel like the author is trying way too hard to be quotable but this one is different. Its structural and each chapter title is basically the lesson learned and then the stories underneath actually deliver on that. The hospital chapters had me genuinely wincing and laughing at the same time, and there’s this running thread through the whole book about choosing to find the funny in bad situations instead of letting them wreck you which sneaks up on you emotionally in a way I wasn’t expecting from a book with this title. It’s not a heavy read by any means, it move fast and the writing is conversational, almost like she’s telling you the story at a bar. But there’s more depth here. Only minor gripe is a couple of the shorter sections feel like they could’ve been folded into the chapter before them, but that’s a nitpick more than a real complaint.
I’ll be upfront, I don’t usually read humor memoirs because they feel like the author is trying way too hard to be quotable but this one is different. Its structural and each chapter title is basically the lesson learned and then the stories underneath actually deliver on that. The hospital chapters had me genuinely wincing and laughing at the same time, and there’s this running thread through the whole book about choosing to find the funny in bad situations instead of letting them wreck you which sneaks up on you emotionally in a way I wasn’t expecting from a book with this title. It’s not a heavy read by any means, it move fast and the writing is conversational, almost like she’s telling you the story at a bar. But there’s more depth here. Only minor gripe is a couple of the shorter sections feel like they could’ve been folded into the chapter before them, but that’s a nitpick more than a real complaint.
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I read this right after finishing something pretty dark and it ended up being exactly the palette cleanser I needed at the time. It doesn’t ask a whole lot of you as a reader, the chapters are bite sized and easy to follow, but it’s still genuinely entertaining rather than mindless. Would keep this on hand specifically for whenever I need a reading palette reset going forward.
I read this right after finishing something pretty dark and it ended up being exactly the palette cleanser I needed at the time. It doesn’t ask a whole lot of you as a reader, the chapters are bite sized and easy to follow, but it’s still genuinely entertaining rather than mindless. Would keep this on hand specifically for whenever I need a reading palette reset going forward.
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This started as a birthday gift for my mother in law who has a wicked sense of humor, and within a week my sister had stolen it from her, then my husband read it on a flight and came home quoting lines from it and that’s basically the highest praise I can give its become a shared joke in our family now. What stood out to me is how the author frames the whole book, she says right in the intro that she chooses to find the funny in the terrible stuff that happens to her instead of letting it flatten her, and honestly that attitude comes through in every single story after that. It never feels forced or like she’s performing trauma for laughs, it feels like sitting with the one friend who can make you laugh about literally anything. It’s a quick read too, the chapters are broken into these bite sized stories so its easy to read one or two before bed and pick it back up later. Would recommend to anyone who needs a break from heavier books right now, this is the palette cleanser.
This started as a birthday gift for my mother in law who has a wicked sense of humor, and within a week my sister had stolen it from her, then my husband read it on a flight and came home quoting lines from it and that’s basically the highest praise I can give its become a shared joke in our family now. What stood out to me is how the author frames the whole book, she says right in the intro that she chooses to find the funny in the terrible stuff that happens to her instead of letting it flatten her, and honestly that attitude comes through in every single story after that. It never feels forced or like she’s performing trauma for laughs, it feels like sitting with the one friend who can make you laugh about literally anything. It’s a quick read too, the chapters are broken into these bite sized stories so its easy to read one or two before bed and pick it back up later. Would recommend to anyone who needs a break from heavier books right now, this is the palette cleanser.
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Okay so I went into this expecting straight comedy and I was NOT ready for how much I’d end up loving Paul. The way she describes him, the mustache, the bad teeth, the prosthetic leg he’d just pop off for a laugh I could picture this guy so clearly it was like I knew him myself and then she mentions off hand that he’s passed away now and it kind of gut punch me in the middle of a chapter and it had me giggling two paragraphs earlier. That’s honestly the thing I didnt expect from this book, it’s not just one joke after another, some of these people she writes about clearly meant the world to her and you can feel it even in the middle of all the chaos and swearing. Still laughed my way through most of it don’t get me wrong, but this one has more heart in it then the cover would have you believe.
Okay so I went into this expecting straight comedy and I was NOT ready for how much I’d end up loving Paul. The way she describes him, the mustache, the bad teeth, the prosthetic leg he’d just pop off for a laugh I could picture this guy so clearly it was like I knew him myself and then she mentions off hand that he’s passed away now and it kind of gut punch me in the middle of a chapter and it had me giggling two paragraphs earlier. That’s honestly the thing I didnt expect from this book, it’s not just one joke after another, some of these people she writes about clearly meant the world to her and you can feel it even in the middle of all the chaos and swearing. Still laughed my way through most of it don’t get me wrong, but this one has more heart in it then the cover would have you believe.
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I passed this around to my mom, my sister, and my husband over the course of a month and it was a hit with all three of them which almost never happens with the same book in my house. It’s become genuinely quotable in our family group chat now, we keep sending each other lines from it out of nowhere. Great pick if you want something that appeals across generations.
I passed this around to my mom, my sister, and my husband over the course of a month and it was a hit with all three of them which almost never happens with the same book in my house. It’s become genuinely quotable in our family group chat now, we keep sending each other lines from it out of nowhere. Great pick if you want something that appeals across generations.
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Not gonna to lie, when I started this book I thought the SWAT stuff from the first chapters was gonna to be the craziest thing in it, and then I got to the part with her ex husbands ex wife trying to run her off a freeway overpass in a car chase and I had to stop and reread it twice because I could not believe this was a true story. The detail about her having one of those old brick car phones bolted into the car and calmly dialing 911 one handed while some woman is trying to sideswipe her off an overpass, thats the kind of detail you cannot make up. It reads like an action movie except the whole time you can tell the author is kind of just annoyed more than scared, which somehow makes it funnier. This book has a real talent for making genuinely dangerous situations sound like an inconvenient tuesday. Would’ve given 5 stars but a couple chapters in the middle dragged a tiny bit for me personally, still an easy recommend though.
Not gonna to lie, when I started this book I thought the SWAT stuff from the first chapters was gonna to be the craziest thing in it, and then I got to the part with her ex husbands ex wife trying to run her off a freeway overpass in a car chase and I had to stop and reread it twice because I could not believe this was a true story. The detail about her having one of those old brick car phones bolted into the car and calmly dialing 911 one handed while some woman is trying to sideswipe her off an overpass, thats the kind of detail you cannot make up. It reads like an action movie except the whole time you can tell the author is kind of just annoyed more than scared, which somehow makes it funnier. This book has a real talent for making genuinely dangerous situations sound like an inconvenient tuesday. Would’ve given 5 stars but a couple chapters in the middle dragged a tiny bit for me personally, still an easy recommend though.
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I want to be balanced here because I think this book deserves an honest review rather than just gushing. The strongest material by far is the true crime-adjacent stuff the ex-wife stalker storyline is genuinely one of the wildest things I’ve read all year, and I mean that as a compliment. Some of the smaller anecdotes in the middle of the book felt a little thinner to me comparatively, more like filler between the bigger stories, though even those had at least one or two good lines that made me laugh. The author’s voice carries the whole thing though, that dry “well, this is my life now I guess” tone never gets old even 200-something pages in. If your buying this expecting a light beach read with a few laughs your going to get way more bang for your buck then you’d expect, there’s real substance under the jokes.
I want to be balanced here because I think this book deserves an honest review rather than just gushing. The strongest material by far is the true crime-adjacent stuff the ex-wife stalker storyline is genuinely one of the wildest things I’ve read all year, and I mean that as a compliment. Some of the smaller anecdotes in the middle of the book felt a little thinner to me comparatively, more like filler between the bigger stories, though even those had at least one or two good lines that made me laugh. The author’s voice carries the whole thing though, that dry “well, this is my life now I guess” tone never gets old even 200-something pages in. If your buying this expecting a light beach read with a few laughs your going to get way more bang for your buck then you’d expect, there’s real substance under the jokes.
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I wasnt totally sure it would be her cup of tea given her usual taste in books but she ended up finishing it in about three days and keeps bringing up the cat-shower story at dinner weeks later and it tells how much the book stuck with her. Turned out to be a genuinely great gift, low pressure, and funny. Would buy again for someone else on my list.
I wasnt totally sure it would be her cup of tea given her usual taste in books but she ended up finishing it in about three days and keeps bringing up the cat-shower story at dinner weeks later and it tells how much the book stuck with her. Turned out to be a genuinely great gift, low pressure, and funny. Would buy again for someone else on my list.
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There’s a section early on about a fellow police training volunteer who insists on telling everyone she’s “an actresssssss” even though nobody has ever seen her in anything and the author just goes “we all know a Rosa” and I about lost it because YES, we do, we all know a Rosa. Its such a specific type of person and shes captured perfectly in like two pages. I think thats what this book does best honestly, these quick little character sketches of people she’s crossed paths with are so vivid you feel like you’ve met them even though you obviously havent. Knocking off one star only because I wish there was more of Rosa, she kind of disappears after her chapter and I wanted a comeback. Still a great, fast, funny read overall.
There’s a section early on about a fellow police training volunteer who insists on telling everyone she’s “an actresssssss” even though nobody has ever seen her in anything and the author just goes “we all know a Rosa” and I about lost it because YES, we do, we all know a Rosa. Its such a specific type of person and shes captured perfectly in like two pages. I think thats what this book does best honestly, these quick little character sketches of people she’s crossed paths with are so vivid you feel like you’ve met them even though you obviously havent. Knocking off one star only because I wish there was more of Rosa, she kind of disappears after her chapter and I wanted a comeback. Still a great, fast, funny read overall.
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I’ll admit I bought this mostly for the title thought it’s just a great line but I didnt actually get the full context of it until near the end of the book, when she circles back to a friend of hers who apparently jokes that if anything weird is ever going to happen to anyone, its going to happen to her, he’s basically surprised she hasn’t literally fallen off a cliff yet given her luck. Once I read that chapter I went back and reread the intro and it all clicked into place so much better. It’s a small thing but I love when a book’s title actually pays off like that instead of just being a cute phrase slapped on the cover. This last chapter is also a lot more sentimental than most of the book, its about people who show up for you when things go sideways, and it was a genuinely sweet way to close things out after 200 pages of chaos.
I’ll admit I bought this mostly for the title thought it’s just a great line but I didnt actually get the full context of it until near the end of the book, when she circles back to a friend of hers who apparently jokes that if anything weird is ever going to happen to anyone, its going to happen to her, he’s basically surprised she hasn’t literally fallen off a cliff yet given her luck. Once I read that chapter I went back and reread the intro and it all clicked into place so much better. It’s a small thing but I love when a book’s title actually pays off like that instead of just being a cute phrase slapped on the cover. This last chapter is also a lot more sentimental than most of the book, its about people who show up for you when things go sideways, and it was a genuinely sweet way to close things out after 200 pages of chaos.
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My wife and I do a lot of whitewater rafting so I was drawn to the chapters about the author and her sister’s rafting trips down the American River, and I have to say the level of detail rings really true, the way she describes the guides, the safety briefing circle, all the little rituals before you get in the water. It’s clear she’s actually done this a bunch and isnt just making it up for a laugh. The stuff that goes wrong later in that chapter though I won’t spoil it but if your familiar with class five rapids you can probably guess, had me genuinely nervous reading it even knowing shes fine because obviously she lived to write the book. It’s a good example of how this author can take you from laughing to white-knuckle tension in the span of like ten pages. Really well done pacing, this was probably my favorite chapter in the whole thing.
My wife and I do a lot of whitewater rafting so I was drawn to the chapters about the author and her sister’s rafting trips down the American River, and I have to say the level of detail rings really true, the way she describes the guides, the safety briefing circle, all the little rituals before you get in the water. It’s clear she’s actually done this a bunch and isnt just making it up for a laugh. The stuff that goes wrong later in that chapter though I won’t spoil it but if your familiar with class five rapids you can probably guess, had me genuinely nervous reading it even knowing shes fine because obviously she lived to write the book. It’s a good example of how this author can take you from laughing to white-knuckle tension in the span of like ten pages. Really well done pacing, this was probably my favorite chapter in the whole thing.
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The premise sounded kind of niche going in, I’ll be honest, but I came out a big fan of this book. The house-showing-turned-fistfight chapter is genuinely unreal, the homeowner keeps talking about square footage while her husband gets thrown through a sliding glass door a few feet away, and somehow that’s not even the craziest thing in the book. Real estate has never sounded this dangerous.
The premise sounded kind of niche going in, I’ll be honest, but I came out a big fan of this book. The house-showing-turned-fistfight chapter is genuinely unreal, the homeowner keeps talking about square footage while her husband gets thrown through a sliding glass door a few feet away, and somehow that’s not even the craziest thing in the book. Real estate has never sounded this dangerous.
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I went in thinking this was going to be a straightforward “crazy things that happened to me” collection and it mostly is, but theres a quieter thread running underneath all of it about the people who show up for the author when stuff hits the fan, whether thats her sister showing up at the hospital, or a police captain she barely knew at the time making sure she got taken care of after getting tackled by his own SWAT team. By the last chapter that thread comes together in a really genuine way and I actually got a little choked up, which I was NOT expecting from a book with this title and this much cursing in it. It doesn’t slow the book down or make it preachy, it’s still mostly laugh out loud stuff, but it gives the whole collection more weight than I thought it would have. Would recommend to anyone who likes their humor with a little heart mixed in.
I went in thinking this was going to be a straightforward “crazy things that happened to me” collection and it mostly is, but theres a quieter thread running underneath all of it about the people who show up for the author when stuff hits the fan, whether thats her sister showing up at the hospital, or a police captain she barely knew at the time making sure she got taken care of after getting tackled by his own SWAT team. By the last chapter that thread comes together in a really genuine way and I actually got a little choked up, which I was NOT expecting from a book with this title and this much cursing in it. It doesn’t slow the book down or make it preachy, it’s still mostly laugh out loud stuff, but it gives the whole collection more weight than I thought it would have. Would recommend to anyone who likes their humor with a little heart mixed in.
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Okay this might be the most “only in this book” detail so far: she goes rafting with her sister, her current husband, AND her first ex husband, who are apparently still friends, all in the same group. I had to reread that part of the roster twice to make sure I wasnt misunderstanding. Then to top it off they break her own golden rule about always telling the guides they’re beginners so they don’t get stuck with a show-off guide, and of course thats exactly what happens, they get stuck with what she calls a “Hot Dog,” a guide more interested in showing off than keeping people safe. The tension of watching them sign a waiver that literally says “you may die” while stuck with the wrong guide had me gripping my kindle a little. Such a good example of how this author builds up dread with humor still running through it the whole time.
Okay this might be the most “only in this book” detail so far: she goes rafting with her sister, her current husband, AND her first ex husband, who are apparently still friends, all in the same group. I had to reread that part of the roster twice to make sure I wasnt misunderstanding. Then to top it off they break her own golden rule about always telling the guides they’re beginners so they don’t get stuck with a show-off guide, and of course thats exactly what happens, they get stuck with what she calls a “Hot Dog,” a guide more interested in showing off than keeping people safe. The tension of watching them sign a waiver that literally says “you may die” while stuck with the wrong guide had me gripping my kindle a little. Such a good example of how this author builds up dread with humor still running through it the whole time.
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Fair warning if you’re squeamish about danger played for laughs, this one goes there more than once. There’s a whole bit about her getting robbed at a gas station as a teenager, and then getting robbed AGAIN a couple years later at a different gas station job and she jokes that she clearly didn’t learn her lesson. It’s dark material honestly but shes so matter of fact and dry about it that it somehow work as comedy without ever feeling like its making light of actual danger, if that makes sense. I think what sells it is her tone never changes whether shes talking about a wet cat or getting mugged, its all delivered with the same “well, that happened” energy, which is oddly comforting after a while. Not for everyone, but if your into dark humor memoirs you’ll probably really enjoy this.
Fair warning if you’re squeamish about danger played for laughs, this one goes there more than once. There’s a whole bit about her getting robbed at a gas station as a teenager, and then getting robbed AGAIN a couple years later at a different gas station job and she jokes that she clearly didn’t learn her lesson. It’s dark material honestly but shes so matter of fact and dry about it that it somehow work as comedy without ever feeling like its making light of actual danger, if that makes sense. I think what sells it is her tone never changes whether shes talking about a wet cat or getting mugged, its all delivered with the same “well, that happened” energy, which is oddly comforting after a while. Not for everyone, but if your into dark humor memoirs you’ll probably really enjoy this.
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By the time I was halfway through this book I started to genuinely worry about how this woman is still alive. Between the gas station robberies the whitewater rapids the SWAT tackle and a stalker ex sideswiping her car on a freeway overpass, its like she’s lived nine lives worth of chaos in one lifetime. And yet the tone never tips into “poor me,” she’s laughing at herself the whole way through, even when recounting genuinely scary stuff like being cornered alone at a gas station booth by two guys twice her size. I found myself audibly going “oh my GOD” out loud more than once while reading on the train, which got me a couple weird looks from other passengers. If you want a memoir that doesn’t take itself too seriously despite having plenty of reasons to, this is it.
By the time I was halfway through this book I started to genuinely worry about how this woman is still alive. Between the gas station robberies the whitewater rapids the SWAT tackle and a stalker ex sideswiping her car on a freeway overpass, its like she’s lived nine lives worth of chaos in one lifetime. And yet the tone never tips into “poor me,” she’s laughing at herself the whole way through, even when recounting genuinely scary stuff like being cornered alone at a gas station booth by two guys twice her size. I found myself audibly going “oh my GOD” out loud more than once while reading on the train, which got me a couple weird looks from other passengers. If you want a memoir that doesn’t take itself too seriously despite having plenty of reasons to, this is it.
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I need everyone to know about this chapter because it might be the single funniest thing in the entire book. She’s at a house showing, the homeowner Carla is going on and on about the backyard landscaping and meanwhile behind her, completely unnoticed, some guy she’s never seen before walks in through a side gate and just SUCKER PUNCHES the homeowner’s husband in the face. And Carla keeps talking about square footage the entire time, doesn’t even notice her husband is now brawling on the concrete a few feet away from her. I was laughing so hard reading this on my lunch break my coworker asked if I was okay. The husband ends up getting thrown through a sliding glass door by the end of it and I’m just sitting there like, this is a REAL ESTATE SHOWING, how is this real life. Genuinely one of the best “you can’t make this up” stories I’ve ever read in any memoir.
I need everyone to know about this chapter because it might be the single funniest thing in the entire book. She’s at a house showing, the homeowner Carla is going on and on about the backyard landscaping and meanwhile behind her, completely unnoticed, some guy she’s never seen before walks in through a side gate and just SUCKER PUNCHES the homeowner’s husband in the face. And Carla keeps talking about square footage the entire time, doesn’t even notice her husband is now brawling on the concrete a few feet away from her. I was laughing so hard reading this on my lunch break my coworker asked if I was okay. The husband ends up getting thrown through a sliding glass door by the end of it and I’m just sitting there like, this is a REAL ESTATE SHOWING, how is this real life. Genuinely one of the best “you can’t make this up” stories I’ve ever read in any memoir.
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There’s this small moment in the middle of total chaos, glass about to shatter, two guys throwing punches a few feet away, and her husband is begging her to climb a fence to escape, and her response is basically “absolutely not, I am not ruining these nylons.” I lost it. It’s such a perfect little detail because it tells you so much about her as a narrator without her having to explain anything, she’s terrified but also still, somehow, very much herself in the moment, prioritizing her tights over an actual emergency. This is what makes the whole book work for me honestly, she never loses her personality even in the scariest situations, the humor doesn’t feel bolted on afterward, it feels like how she actually processes chaos in real time. Great read, finished it over a weekend.
There’s this small moment in the middle of total chaos, glass about to shatter, two guys throwing punches a few feet away, and her husband is begging her to climb a fence to escape, and her response is basically “absolutely not, I am not ruining these nylons.” I lost it. It’s such a perfect little detail because it tells you so much about her as a narrator without her having to explain anything, she’s terrified but also still, somehow, very much herself in the moment, prioritizing her tights over an actual emergency. This is what makes the whole book work for me honestly, she never loses her personality even in the scariest situations, the humor doesn’t feel bolted on afterward, it feels like how she actually processes chaos in real time. Great read, finished it over a weekend.
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Okay I have to talk about the volunteer training scenario where the cops literally instruct three hostage volunteers to act like they’re falling in love with their captor to make the negotiation harder its called Stockholm syndrome apparently and its a real thing but the way it play out here is absurd in the best way. Two of the volunteers play it straight, all “please don’t hurt him” and stuff, but the third one Rosa decides her hostage character is BORED instead of scared, and just goes off script completely. Meanwhile this scenario is dragging on for HOURS because nobody bothered to tell the guy playing the bad guy that half his fellow volunteers already got tackled and hospitalized in a totally different scenario happening at the same time. It’s such a specific, weird slice of behind-the-scenes police training that I never wouldve thought to be curious about, and it’s told so well.
Okay I have to talk about the volunteer training scenario where the cops literally instruct three hostage volunteers to act like they’re falling in love with their captor to make the negotiation harder its called Stockholm syndrome apparently and its a real thing but the way it play out here is absurd in the best way. Two of the volunteers play it straight, all “please don’t hurt him” and stuff, but the third one Rosa decides her hostage character is BORED instead of scared, and just goes off script completely. Meanwhile this scenario is dragging on for HOURS because nobody bothered to tell the guy playing the bad guy that half his fellow volunteers already got tackled and hospitalized in a totally different scenario happening at the same time. It’s such a specific, weird slice of behind-the-scenes police training that I never wouldve thought to be curious about, and it’s told so well.
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What impressed me most reading this cover to cover is how the author manages to escalate every single story just when you think it can’t get any more ridiculous. It sounds exhausting written out like that but on the pages it flows so naturally you don’t even notice how much has happened until you look up and realize you just read about three separate emergencies in six pages. This is a genuinely well crafted book, not just a collection of “wild stuff happened to me,” there’s real comedic structure and timing at play.
What impressed me most reading this cover to cover is how the author manages to escalate every single story just when you think it can’t get any more ridiculous. It sounds exhausting written out like that but on the pages it flows so naturally you don’t even notice how much has happened until you look up and realize you just read about three separate emergencies in six pages. This is a genuinely well crafted book, not just a collection of “wild stuff happened to me,” there’s real comedic structure and timing at play.
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As someone who’s also in real estate I felt this chapter in my soul. She gets invited on a rafting trip with a bunch of lenders, title agents, and other realtors, thinking its a nice little networking day out, and casually mentions in passing that the river she’s about to raft goes from a manageable Class Three all the way up to a Class Four or Five depending on snowmelt. She even breaks down what a Class Five actually means and you just KNOW where this is headed. I loved the structure of this section, she’s basically giving you the rules of the danger before showing you exactly how those rules get broken. Great blend of actual useful info (I didn’t know rafting classes worked like that) and pure comedic dread building. My favorite kind of chapter honestly.
As someone who’s also in real estate I felt this chapter in my soul. She gets invited on a rafting trip with a bunch of lenders, title agents, and other realtors, thinking its a nice little networking day out, and casually mentions in passing that the river she’s about to raft goes from a manageable Class Three all the way up to a Class Four or Five depending on snowmelt. She even breaks down what a Class Five actually means and you just KNOW where this is headed. I loved the structure of this section, she’s basically giving you the rules of the danger before showing you exactly how those rules get broken. Great blend of actual useful info (I didn’t know rafting classes worked like that) and pure comedic dread building. My favorite kind of chapter honestly.
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I wasnt sure how a book built almost entirely out of standalone wild-story chapters was going to wrap up, but the last two sections, “Humanness, the Good and the Bad” and “The Funny is Always There,” actually pull the whole thing together in a way that felt earned rather than tacked on. Basically her whole argument by the end is that people including the assholes, the bad guides, the doctors who make you wait forever, are all just human and flawed, and the only real choice you get is whether you let that ruin you or whether you find the funny in it anyway. It sounds like it could be cheesy written out like that but by the time you get there, after 190-something pages of proof, it doesnt feel cheesy at all, it feels like she earned the right to say it. Genuinely one of the better endings I’ve read in this genre.
I wasnt sure how a book built almost entirely out of standalone wild-story chapters was going to wrap up, but the last two sections, “Humanness, the Good and the Bad” and “The Funny is Always There,” actually pull the whole thing together in a way that felt earned rather than tacked on. Basically her whole argument by the end is that people including the assholes, the bad guides, the doctors who make you wait forever, are all just human and flawed, and the only real choice you get is whether you let that ruin you or whether you find the funny in it anyway. It sounds like it could be cheesy written out like that but by the time you get there, after 190-something pages of proof, it doesnt feel cheesy at all, it feels like she earned the right to say it. Genuinely one of the better endings I’ve read in this genre.
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The transcript-style dialogue right before the SWAT tackle is honestly some of the best comedic writing in the whole book. The negotiator keeps repeating this canned line about her “still having a future” if she just gives up, and instead of playing along she just goes completely off the rails on him, fake crying about never having kids now, then asking if HE has kids, then straight up telling him he’s probably a shit father. You can feel the whole thing spiraling in real time and you just know its about to go badly for her, and it does. Its written almost like a script I was basically watching it happen in my head like a movie. Such a good example of “well that escalated quickly” writing.
The transcript-style dialogue right before the SWAT tackle is honestly some of the best comedic writing in the whole book. The negotiator keeps repeating this canned line about her “still having a future” if she just gives up, and instead of playing along she just goes completely off the rails on him, fake crying about never having kids now, then asking if HE has kids, then straight up telling him he’s probably a shit father. You can feel the whole thing spiraling in real time and you just know its about to go badly for her, and it does. Its written almost like a script I was basically watching it happen in my head like a movie. Such a good example of “well that escalated quickly” writing.
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We picked this as our “something lighter” read for the month after a string of heavier books and it ended up being a total hit at our meeting, everyone had a different favorite chapter which says a lot about how much variety is packed into this collection. Mine was the SWAT chapter, my friend’s was the cat one, another woman in our group wouldn’t stop talking about the overpass car chase. Great discussion, lots of laughing.
We picked this as our “something lighter” read for the month after a string of heavier books and it ended up being a total hit at our meeting, everyone had a different favorite chapter which says a lot about how much variety is packed into this collection. Mine was the SWAT chapter, my friend’s was the cat one, another woman in our group wouldn’t stop talking about the overpass car chase. Great discussion, lots of laughing.
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Small chapter but such a perfect little beat. She’s just promised her Captain moments earlier that she won’t go to the press about the whole SWAT tackle situation, and then literally right after that a bouquet of flowers arrives in her hospital room from... the local newspaper. Poor Captain’s face apparently just drains of all color thinking she went behind his back immediately after promising she wouldn’t. Turns out it’s totally unrelated but the TIMING of it is so absurdly perfect that even she can’t help laughing at how bad it looks. This is the kind of small, well observed comedic beat that a lot of memoirs miss, they go for the big dramatic stuff and skip these little moments, but this book nails both.
Small chapter but such a perfect little beat. She’s just promised her Captain moments earlier that she won’t go to the press about the whole SWAT tackle situation, and then literally right after that a bouquet of flowers arrives in her hospital room from... the local newspaper. Poor Captain’s face apparently just drains of all color thinking she went behind his back immediately after promising she wouldn’t. Turns out it’s totally unrelated but the TIMING of it is so absurdly perfect that even she can’t help laughing at how bad it looks. This is the kind of small, well observed comedic beat that a lot of memoirs miss, they go for the big dramatic stuff and skip these little moments, but this book nails both.
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“I bet you’re a shit father” has become a running joke in our friend group now, we just say it out of nowhere and everyone immediately knows exactly what it’s from and starts laughing. Thats the mark of a genuinely quotable book in my opinion, when lines from it start working their way into your actual life. Easily one of the more rewatchable, or I guess “reread-able,” memoirs I own.
“I bet you’re a shit father” has become a running joke in our friend group now, we just say it out of nowhere and everyone immediately knows exactly what it’s from and starts laughing. Thats the mark of a genuinely quotable book in my opinion, when lines from it start working their way into your actual life. Easily one of the more rewatchable, or I guess “reread-able,” memoirs I own.
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I dont think I’ve ever laughed reading a book on public transit as much as I did with this one to the point where I got some concerned looks more than once. What really works for the book as a whole is that even the recurring background characters, not just the main big stories, are so well drawn. The hospital doctor she nicknames Dr. Asshole becomes this funny little running gag every time they cross paths in the hallway, and honestly those small moments are just as memorable to me now as some of the bigger headline stories. It’s a book thats clearly the product of someone who’s a natural storyteller. Cant recommend this enough if you want something genuinely funny that doesn’t take itself too seriously.
I dont think I’ve ever laughed reading a book on public transit as much as I did with this one to the point where I got some concerned looks more than once. What really works for the book as a whole is that even the recurring background characters, not just the main big stories, are so well drawn. The hospital doctor she nicknames Dr. Asshole becomes this funny little running gag every time they cross paths in the hallway, and honestly those small moments are just as memorable to me now as some of the bigger headline stories. It’s a book thats clearly the product of someone who’s a natural storyteller. Cant recommend this enough if you want something genuinely funny that doesn’t take itself too seriously.
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I started this on my lunch break just to sample a chapter and ended up reading the entire book right there at my desk, laughing so hard a coworker actually came over to check on me. What gets me is how specific everything is, the way she just goes completely off script instead of playing along. This woman has clearly lived about nine lives worth of chaos and somehow made all of them funny. I’ve already recommended it to three people at work.
I started this on my lunch break just to sample a chapter and ended up reading the entire book right there at my desk, laughing so hard a coworker actually came over to check on me. What gets me is how specific everything is, the way she just goes completely off script instead of playing along. This woman has clearly lived about nine lives worth of chaos and somehow made all of them funny. I’ve already recommended it to three people at work.
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Bought this for a long flight thinking it’d be a decent way to pass the time and ended up finishing half of it before we even took off, which almost never happens for me. The gas station robbery chapter alone is worth the price of the book, its way more tense than I expected from something marketed as comedy, and then she still manages to land a joke right after. Great pacing throughout, never a dull stretch.
Bought this for a long flight thinking it’d be a decent way to pass the time and ended up finishing half of it before we even took off, which almost never happens for me. The gas station robbery chapter alone is worth the price of the book, its way more tense than I expected from something marketed as comedy, and then she still manages to land a joke right after. Great pacing throughout, never a dull stretch.
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Some chapters are noticeably stronger than others, a few of the shorter stories in the middle feel more like filler between the bigger stories, but when this book is firing on all cylinders it’s genuinely one of the funniest things I’ve read all year. The rafting chapter with the “Hot Dog” guide who shows off instead of keeping everyone safe was probably my personal favorite, the tension builds so well. Docking one star just for pacing but still an easy recommend overall.
Some chapters are noticeably stronger than others, a few of the shorter stories in the middle feel more like filler between the bigger stories, but when this book is firing on all cylinders it’s genuinely one of the funniest things I’ve read all year. The rafting chapter with the “Hot Dog” guide who shows off instead of keeping everyone safe was probably my personal favorite, the tension builds so well. Docking one star just for pacing but still an easy recommend overall.
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I’m not usually one to leave reviews but I wanted to say this book got me through a genuinely rough week. I needed something that would make me laugh without needing to think too hard, and this delivered every single chapter. My personal favorite was the police training scenario where one of the volunteers is supposed to be a hostage with Stockholm syndrome and instead just decides to be bored the whole time, completely ignoring the script, it’s such a small silly detail but it made me laugh out loud on my commute two days in a row because I kept thinking about it. This isn’t a book that’s trying to teach you some big life lesson every chapter it’s just a genuinely fun, well written collection of true stories from someone who’s clearly lived an eventful life and knows exactly how to tell a story. Highly recommend if you need a pick me up.
I’m not usually one to leave reviews but I wanted to say this book got me through a genuinely rough week. I needed something that would make me laugh without needing to think too hard, and this delivered every single chapter. My personal favorite was the police training scenario where one of the volunteers is supposed to be a hostage with Stockholm syndrome and instead just decides to be bored the whole time, completely ignoring the script, it’s such a small silly detail but it made me laugh out loud on my commute two days in a row because I kept thinking about it. This isn’t a book that’s trying to teach you some big life lesson every chapter it’s just a genuinely fun, well written collection of true stories from someone who’s clearly lived an eventful life and knows exactly how to tell a story. Highly recommend if you need a pick me up.
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Light, fast, and funny without ever feeling dumbed down, which is a hard balance to strike honestly. I read most of it by the pool over two days and my husband kept asking what I was cackling about every twenty minutes. The chapters are short enough that you can put it down and pick it back up without losing the thread, ideal for vacation reading where you get interrupted constantly.
Light, fast, and funny without ever feeling dumbed down, which is a hard balance to strike honestly. I read most of it by the pool over two days and my husband kept asking what I was cackling about every twenty minutes. The chapters are short enough that you can put it down and pick it back up without losing the thread, ideal for vacation reading where you get interrupted constantly.
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I read a lot in this genre and a common problem is books like this either lean too hard into shock value with nothing underneath it, or they get too sentimental and lose the comedic momentum. This one threads that needle really well across the board. Structurally its smart too each chapter is framed around a “life lesson” which gives even the wildest anecdotes a sense of purpose instead of feeling like random stories bolted together. The author’s voice stays consistent from the very first page to the very last, dry, a little foul-mouthed, self-deprecating but never self-pitying. If you liked stuff like “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” or similar wild true story memoirs, this belongs on the same shelf. Genuinely one of my favorite reads this year.
I read a lot in this genre and a common problem is books like this either lean too hard into shock value with nothing underneath it, or they get too sentimental and lose the comedic momentum. This one threads that needle really well across the board. Structurally its smart too each chapter is framed around a “life lesson” which gives even the wildest anecdotes a sense of purpose instead of feeling like random stories bolted together. The author’s voice stays consistent from the very first page to the very last, dry, a little foul-mouthed, self-deprecating but never self-pitying. If you liked stuff like “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” or similar wild true story memoirs, this belongs on the same shelf. Genuinely one of my favorite reads this year.